Beware of the Frog

If I were to begin work tomorrow as a professional storyteller, I would choose this book as my first tale.  William Bee's Beware of the Frog, a bizarre reworking of the Princess and the Frog story, is one of the funniest books I've read in a good long while.

At the beginning of the book we meet Mrs. Collywobble, "a sweet little old lady" who "lives in a little house on the edge of a big, dark, scary wood."  And to protect her from the frightful monsters who lurk in the dark, she keeps a pet frog.  Who sits on her doorstep.   And smiles.  And nuzzles her offered hand. 

Sweet little guy.

Until, that is, from out of the wood shambles Greedy Goblin, hobbling along with his cart full of stolen loot.

Nickerty-noo, nickerty-noo,
if I get a chance,
I'll steal from you . . .

When Greedy Goblin ignores the sign on the fence Beware Of The Frog, I'm afraid he comes to a bad end.

As does the Smelly Troll (Welly-welly)
and the Giant Hungry Ogre (Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dummy).

Until we reach the end of the book, and Mrs. Collywobbles, in a fit of thankfulness, bestows upon her frog his one request.

A kiss.

What happens next is a kicker, worth the price of the book.

You'll have to read it to find out.

GOBBLE
GOBBLE
GOBBLE